Chances

What’s nice about running quotes is they often reflect life as well. Take this one for instance. Forget the part about running five more miles, erase the words ‘bumps and bruises’ from your mind. Just focus on the core of it.                                                           

I took a chance today. At my school’s spring safety assembly I gave a five minute talk about my goal of changing the world and tried to inspire my classmates to do the same. And I’ll be honest it was terrifying. Before it was my turn to talk, I was shaking with nervous in my seat: What would they think? Would I make a fool of myself? What if no words came out? What would happen if everyone made fun of me for it? But after my name was called and I got the first shaky sentences out, I relaxed a little. And by the end, my words flowed smoothly.  

And after finishing my speech, I sat down proudly, grinning like a maniac. Because now, there is one less thing that I cannot do. I can stand up in front of my classmates and share one of my biggest secrets regardless of their reactions. And I promise you I will remember this day for the rest of my life.

Now it’s your turn. Fifty years from now, do you think you’re going to spend your time wishing you blended in with the crowd better and were more ‘normal’? Or do you think you’re going to wish you went out on a limb more and did something others could only dream of?  Opportunities to do something beautiful, something incredible, something memorable, come about every single day. But it’s up to us to recognize them and chase them down.

Take this story for instance: At a big track meet this year, I was doing pentathlon. There was this really cute guy doing pent as well. We were high jumping at the same and I really wanted to talk to him eventually. After both our finally events (the 1500 and 800) I was hanging out with my best friend and he was cooling down. She noticed me looking at him and laughed. “You know you’re going to regret it if you don’t go talk to him” I knew she was right. It took me a shove to get me moving, but I did it. It was really short conversation and I could tell he wasn’t interested right away, but the point is, I would have regretted not saying ‘nice job.’ And I still remember that moment with a smile. Would I still remember it if I had chickened out? I highly doubt it.

So the next time you’re faced with a decision, be it seemingly insignificant or life-altering, just do it. Do it with wild excitement. Screw it up and have a story to tell, or make the moment beautiful and treasure it forever. Whatever happens, you still have more of a story than you would have if you had backed out. 

P.S. Seeing as I became visible to my classmates today, I might as well become visible to you. My name is Sheila. 

On Selflessness

One of my closest friends and I were talking the other day on the bus about colleges and how much it was going to cost us. When I mentioned my summer job plans, she agreed she had similar ideas but wasn’t planning on putting it towards college. Instead, she was going to donate most of it to different charities like the Trevor Project and some research organizations. “My mom wouldn’t approve, so I’ll just tell her I spent it all on clothes. She’ll probably yell at me but eh, it’s worth it,” She said with a laugh like it was no big deal. And I just sat back and looked at her. Wow, I thought. This was a side of my friend that I had never seen before. Most teens today would have actually spent that money on clothes.  Most teens wouldn’t donate it to charity. And most teens definitely wouldn’t accept punishment from their parents for donating either.  But then again, she’s not like most teens.   

Easily inspired, I am not, but for her I made an exception. Though I did not have money to donate, I had time.  So last night after I finished all my homework, I stayed up an hour later to make some inspirational cards for some of my track teammates seeing as we had a meet the next day. Though it was past midnight and I was tired, I wanted to put a smile on my friends’ faces. This afternoon, the cards really seemed to make everyone happy and they all ran beautifully! My lack of sleep did not affect my race at all – I got a personal record!

So maybe you’re not the richest person, maybe you don’t have all the time in the world. But maybe you do have something to give, be it a helping hand, a few words of encouragement, a smile.  And maybe it would make someone’s day for you to give it. So what’s stopping you from giving it? 

How to Deal with Trichotillomania (the hair pulling disorder)

Those of you who don’t know what Trich is, consider yourself lucky. (It’s an anxiety disorder where you pull out your hair) I promised this entry a little while ago in my post “How to Deal with Anxiety” so hereit is.  So maybe not a lot of people suffer from Trich or even know what it is. But I figure, since I battle it myself (a mild form of it)and I’m pretty knowledgeable in the area and it would be ridiculous not to post about dealing with it for the others out there who need a little help. And by dealing with it, I mean stop pulling forever. I’m proud to announce it has been over 150 days since I lasted pulled and I am determined to never go back.  So let me save from your painful world of Trichotillomania. Read on.

First, answer the following questions on a piece of paper:

Why do you pull? Is it compulsive or deliberate? When did you pull for the first time? Where do you pull? (Location on your body) When and where do you pull the most? (Example:  6 pm while doing homework)What measures of prevention have you already taken? What measures worked? What didn’t? What are the consequences of pulling out your hair? What are some of your favorite memories?

These answers will help you to better understand your Trich.  Now there’s two ways you can quit: The twenty one day method, or by deciding to stop now. If you choose the twenty one day method, for the next three weeks, every time you pull you remind yourself why you shouldn’t pull, what the consequences of pulling are, and why you are quitting in 21 days. After your three weeks are up, quitting is apparently a lot easier. The method I used though is just by deciding to stop. No, it’s not that easy and you’ll have to fight yourself tooth and nail every time you get the urge to pull, but with my tips and some mental toughness, you can get through this. 

Tips:

-          Start a journal. Record every time you pull and how you felt about it afterwards. Make it a goal of yours to never fill the entire journal.

-          Mark your calendar with a smiley face for every day you are successfully in not pulling. Put a frowny face on the days you fail

-          Itch the area you want to pull, but don’t pull

-          Wherever you pull the most, be it in your bedroom or in the living room, place sticky notes around the house to remind yourself not to pull

-          Wear any kind of jewelry or watch to play with to distract your fingers from pulling (earrings work awesome)

-          Whenever your hand goes up to pull, make it into a fist and hold it at your side firmly for a count of 10

-          Use a stress ball

-          Distraction. Is. Key. Draw, do homework, sing, clean your room, eat something, play with a pet. Refrain from reading a lot of watching a lot of T.V. because once you zone out, and your Trich is compulsive, you’re back to square one.

-          Okay, this is going to sound weird, but pulling out the fuzz of fuzzy socks gives the same satisfaction of pulling your hair. So you can try doing that instead.

-          Whenever you have the urge to pull, get up a walk to a specific place. This sounds stupid, but bear with me: Try to convince yourself that as soon as you get to that place, everything will be okay and the urge to pull will pass. Eventually, it will actually work.  (I did it with my mom’s classroom at school at it really worked!)

-          I tap my middle finger and thumb together really fast and the rhythm seems to distract me.

-          This works for some people, but no others: Stand up and look at yourself in the mirror with your hands behind your back.  Hold that position until the urge to pull passes.

-          Whenever you want to pull list all the consequences of why you shouldn’t in your head.

-          Or bring yourself back to a happy memory in which you would never want to pull and try to feel the same way as you were feeling. 

-          Be careful. As you’re fighting Trich, new habits to replace the old might pop up. Be just as hard on them as they can become just as addicting.

-          Weeks two and tree are the hardest.  It’s going to take a lot of will power to get through it: a lot of mental toughness. But you can do it. And if you can get through them, the next few weeks will feel like a breeze.

So there you have a few tips on how to stop pulling out your hair and beat Trich for once and for all. Because, I know how much it rule your life. And it’s time for you to take command again. It’s not going to be easy. It’s not going to take just a day, or a week, or even a month. It might take longer or shorter depending on the severity of your Trich.  But in the end, it will be completely worth it. I promise. You can do this. I only hope you believe in you as much as I believe in you <3

Feel free to email me or comment if you have anything to add to the tips list, have any questions of want to share your own success story.  I’d love to hear from you!

On Fear

Have you ever turned away instead of talking to that cute girl in fear of rejection? Have you ever not gone on that rollercoaster because it looked too scary? Or have you ever decided not to participate in the talent show fearing embarrassment?

Perhaps what you fear is not limited to those categories. No matter, we all have been held back by fear in one point of our lives or another.  However, what most people fail to realize is that fear is not the body’s way of saying that something bad will happen.  No, it’s just an indicator that something important is to come. So let’s go back for a second. That cute girl? Perhaps you two have a great time and start dating. Or maybe she laughs at you. Hey, you learned how not to approach a girl.  The next time, your chances of a great with conversation with a different girl have increased. The scary rollercoaster? It could turn out to be so much fun. Or maybe you make a friend while standing in line.  That talent show? Maybe your friends are impressed. Or perhaps you mess up a little. You learn that everyone makes mistakes sometimes and they soon forget when you mess up.

Regardless of what you fear, overcoming it might just become one of the most important moments of your life.  Would you like to know how your life would be if you did not let fear stop you? Well, it’s easy to find out.  Would you like to know how this can affect the world?

Well I’ll tell you. Right now, reading this is someone with the political skills to stop wars…if only they had the courage to run for office. Right now, reading this is someone whose art has the potential to touch millions of hearts and change the way people view the world…if only they had the guts to enter that contest. Right now, reading this is someone who has the intellect to revolutionize the agricultural world and erase famine…if only they took a chance on this intellect and started their research today.

What would happen if all three of these readers gathered up their courage, looked their fear in the face, and took a step towards success? We would be one step closer to a better world, that’s what.

Kill your Heroes

Every one of us has a hero: someone to look up to and emulate.  We all strive to be like our heroes one day, accomplish what they accomplished, succeed like they did, and stand equal to them in history someday.  But in our wildest dreams we never believe we could possibly surpass what they did.  “Kill your heroes” by AWOL Nation is a great song that you should check out. "Kill," of course, is used in a metaphorical sense.  It simply says to dare to be better than your heroes. Settle for nothing but your best effort and do not stop until you reach your goal. 

I had two heroes once, both named Rachael. One was a captain of our cross country team, my freshmen year.  She made everyone feel like they belonged and was an amazing leader. After she left, the team seemed to fall apart.  And so when I began my senior cross country season, I swore I would be just like Rachael and bring the team together.  Instead of leading second warm-up, I ran behind everyone to help the stragglers hang onto the pack. I wrote 50 different cards of appreciation for the team members at the seasonal banquet.  These are just some of my favorite memories, but overall, I think I did a pretty good job as captain.  And a few months ago, when Rachael came back to visit, I gave her a hug and told her she was my hero.  That day, when I walked away, I realized that she was no longer my hero.  I had achieved my goal of becoming like her, and then surpassed my expectations.  I am not saying that I was a better captain than Rachael. No, instead, I am saying I did just as good of a job as she did. After a while, I no longer needed to look up to her, because I could look up to myself. 

My second hero is someone who I’ve talked about before. She was the first victim of Columbine, and inspired me to write the anonymous sticky notes for my classmates. Someday, I hope to surpass what she did to change the world. And when I do, I will let you know!

Despite what you may think, it is not dishonoring your hero to strive to be better than them.  Instead, I would look at it as a compliment if someone told me they wanted to be better than me at something one day.  See, records are meant to be broken. The more times records are broken, the better we, as the human race, become. And when we all strive to be the best we can be, the possibilities are endless.

But once you surpass your hero, you’ll realize there are no more footprints to follow in; there will be no more compass to point you on your way.  But when there are no more guidelines, there is no need to look back.  You are strong enough, intelligent enough, and have been through enough to make your own guidelines now.  No one can write your own story but yourself.  Because, you are doing something that no one has ever done. This, for some, is a scary thought, and rightfully so.  But take a deep breath and look around. You’ve come too far to quit now.  For now, you are your own hero.

How to Help: Anxiety

I’m no doctor or physiatrist, but I have been around the block a few times.  I know people with anxiety disorders and have one myself.  In this post I will focus on how to help someone who has Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and panic disorder.  I understand that not everyone’s anxiety is the same, but this is how I would like to be helped and maybe it could work for your friends as well. 

1.      Get familiar with the subject.  Sure, people have heard of anxiety, but they don’t always have a solid understanding of what it actually is or how much it hurts.  Know that what they are anxious about might be insignificant and irrational but it does not make it any less real for them.  Try this site

2.      Help them do the small things.  Sometimes, the littlest things cause the most anxiety.  Take signing up for a road test for instance.  The fact that they’re setting a date for something big and important is very nerve-wracking.  Offer to sit down and do it with them.  It just helps to have someone by their side. 

3.      Some people have very high anxiety and even get anxiety attacks.  If this is the case, there will be many times that your friend feels like his or her chest will explode from the beating of her heart or he or she will sweat her hands clean out of water.  They will know the pattern their anxiety follows and when they feel it coming on, it is important for them to get away from the situation, mentally or physically. Help them to design an effective get-away plan for their safety.  This escape can either be physical or mental.

a.       Physical escape:  When your friend feels intense anxiety building up, she should physically remove herself from the situation.  This girl, who talks about her anxiety via vlog, likes to get away from her anxiety by driving.  However, for people in school or at work, driving away is not at all possible.  My personal plan has been to walk to my mom’s room to get some pretzels.  Your friend could keep something in her locker to eat.  The key to physical escape is helping your friend to convince herself that once she gets to that ‘safe’ place (her locker, the bathroom, etc.) and distracts herself (by eating, texting, etc.) her anxiety will be gone. Your job in this situation can either be to accompany your friend or cover for her. 

b.      Mental escape: Sometimes, physical escape is just not possible, like in the middle of a test, lecture, or gym class game. In this case, it is important to keep the brain occupied on anything but the anxiety. A game I like to use is the random word game to play it, think of a random word. Allow that word to remind you of another word. And that new word to make you think of another word.  So on and so forth, (example: shark, water, blue, red, fire truck, toy, Christmas, Easter bunny, eggs, chocolate cake, etc.) His thoughts will start flowing from one word to another and allow no room for anxiety.  Once he hits a word that triggers his anxiety, he should stop immediately and start over.

4.      If your friend did not escape the bad situation in time, you may have to help talk him through an anxiety attack.  This is the honestly one of the best and most helpful articles out there and I highly recommend you print it out for your anxious friend. Unless you suspect that one are the one who triggered your friend’s anxiety, stay with him and keep the positive thoughts flowing. 

5.      Anxiety is like a spectrum.  High anxiety and panic attacks are on the right side, and on the left, is lesser to moderate anxiety.  This type of anxiety, unlike panic attacks, last for much longer (days, weeks, months). To help your friend with this, familiarize her with breathing techniques. Check out this site for more information

6.      She can also try tensing and releasing her muscles one by one to relax her body as well. Another technique I’ve learned and utilize quite frequently is tapping.  Be it my thumb and middle finger together or just a finger on my leg or arm.  Your friend could also try this.  I believe this works because it had a certain rhythm to it.  Rocking back and forth and pacing also works, but that is general frowned upon in school settings : )

7.      Make something for her, like a bracelet, to wear to keep with it so she can play with it and look at it when feeling anxious to help her remember that she has someone on her side. 

8.      Create a chart with him.  On one side of the chart, he will write down what makes him feel anxious.  On the other side of the chart he will decide what he will do to combat the feelings, where it is coping techniques, a decision to face it with you, or avoid the situation all together.

9.      Encourage her to spend ten minutes at the beginning and end of each day just breathing, stretching, meditating or doing yoga.  This has done wonders for me in terms to reminding myself how to relax on busy weekdays. 

10.  Remind your friend to get enough exercise to ensure he is releasing his stress in a positive manor.  Healthy eating also plays a role.  He should be eating every four hours and avoiding foods with high sugar and fat content.  Check out this article for more information on healthy eating and anxiety.

11.  Insure your friend that if she should go on medication it would not make you think any less of her.  This option is obviously for her and her doctor and family to discuss, but regardless of the decision, be there for her. 

12.  Mostly though, be there for your friend.  I cannot tell you how good it feels to be able to make eye contacts with a trusted friend during class when anxiety sets in and knowing someone understands what is happening and will be there if needed.

As always, feel free to correct me if you feel I have inaccurately reflected anxiety in any way, shape, or form, and comment below if you have any tips of your own you would like to share. 

 

I do have an additional how-to-help on anxiety for you.  This one is on Trichotillomania, an anxiety disorder where people pull out their hair.  I just have to find it somewhere, but will upload it asap.

Always was, always will be

A single tear

Began it all

A tear for you

Don't you recall?

 

It’s all about you

Not about __

Past, present, future

Always was, always will be

 

Purple for __, Teal for you

My bracelets have secret meanings too

But purple disappeared just this past winter

And _ really don’t care about ever finding her

 

It’s all about you

Not about __

Past, present, future

Always was, always will be

 

And when _ fall

No pity please

_ made my choice

You over __

___________________________________

Because online or offline, friend or stranger, I care about you. I want to take the weight off your shoulders. I would hold up the sky for you, wear your chains so you don't have to. Just to see you smile.