Tuesday, January 1, 2013

No one ever said it would be easy

     Although no one ever said saving the world would be easy, I was a fool to think it might be.  One summer evening, I was conversing with strangers as usual when a jolting message appeared on my screen: “Please help me.” 

      “Talk to me” I replied curiously, unaware of the chain of events to follow.  Her life story, riddled with heartache, scrolled across my computer screen.  Desperately, feeling as if I were hanging over a rocky cliff with nothing but a flimsy root to grip, I urgently typed back reasons why she should not pull the trigger.  My pathetic attempt, however, was to no avail.  Before disconnecting, she sent me one last message: “Do not blame yourself.”  But how could I not?  Waterfalls of tears drenched my cheeks that night.  I lay in bed staring at my ceiling for the longest time, just wondering.   How I could save the world if I could not even save one life?

     Days went by and the memories of that summer evening still haunted my every move.  Though I succeeded every day in my efforts to spread happiness, I was still not content. To be satisfied, I knew I had to complete the task I had previously failed at: I had to save a life.   

     About three months later, on a Saturday afternoon, I was online as usual.  Though nothing was usual about the first conversation I had. 

     “I am going to kill myself,” was her first message to me.  This time without panicking, I typed out a careful, “Why?” and our conversation took off.  Somewhere, between calming her down and affirming the undying presence of hope, I found her a reason to live. Before disconnecting, she promised to email me.

    “Thanks. Stay beautiful,” she said.   I closed my laptop and sat back, letting my guilt be replaced by happiness.

     I did it. I thought.  I saved a life. However, one life seems so miniscule in the grander scheme of things now.  Now, I am going to save the world. 

     And I reopened my laptop.

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